The arrival of a new year seems to inspire
reflection and somewhat melancholic thoughts in many bloggers. We think about
the huge events from the past year and try to recapture some of the good
feelings. We mourn the losses we suffered and try to inject some meaning into
our own lives.
I have been less inclined to go through
this ritual than in past years. Perhaps it is because I stand on the precipice
of beginning another adventure, this time in Leicester and this time it will be
a three year mission. My thoughts inevitably are turned forward rather than
backward. I step on a plane in two days and quite honestly I have no idea what
to expect beyond landing at Heathrow, catching a coach to my new home, and
hopefully finding myself relishing this decision to chase a PhD. There is of
course graduation as well. I’ll have a chance to see Durham again and to
reconnect with friends I haven’t seen in four months.
I am trying to remember how I felt two days
before I left for Durham back in September 2013. I cannot seem to recapture it.
I know I was much better organised then than I am now. I haven’t even brought
my suitcases up from the basement yet to begin packing. I know I have repeated
the goodbyes with my friends, though this time it feels so much more difficult.
Is it the length of my programme that is the cause? I’ve been trying to analyse
this phenomenon without much success. I guess it’s harder the second time
around. I think, too, I am questioning this decision much more than the
decision I made to get my master’s degree. I’m not as sure that it is the right
decision. I think time will help me reach a conclusion on that.
What was that I was saying about being
disinclined to wax poetic over the past year? I am quite fickle. How about just
over the past four months when my posts have been sparse or non-existent? When
I first returned I was in a fury of energy which spawned many projects. I
created a photo album for all of my grandmother’s pictures, made some important
discoveries in my family history research, helped my mom organise forty years
of photographs (somewhat to museum standards), and worked on some art projects. I've hit some amazing PRs in CrossFit while I've been home and made some great friends at the box. I reconnected with friends, visited some old stomping grounds, and grew closer
to family. I was able to squish my ferrets whenever they allowed (and sometimes
under their protestations). I had a fantastic Halloween night, helping my
friend set up a little trick or treat questing in his backyard for the neighbourhood
kids. I went to Longwood Gardens a few times and finally made it up to New York
City on New Year’s Day. There were tonnes of things I didn’t get around to
doing, but those things don’t seem to matter too much.
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| Pumpkins from Halloween |
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| I played a very odd witch who sent kids on a quest to find skulls around the backyard. They got a piece of candy for each skull they brought. |
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| The chrysanthemum festival at Longwood Gardens. |
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| Chase was a good helper with the Christmas decorating. |
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| Enzo, Lamborghini, and Chase in their favourite napping place. It's a drawer in a side table. |
Throughout this time, I was working on
getting my visa, student debt, er…loans, and finding housing in Leicester.
Though I had been through this all before, the second time around was much more
difficult. I am going to blame that on my misplaced sense of expertise. I had
done it all before, why should I be as over organised and concerned as I had
two years ago? This false sense of security led me to apply for my visa before
having confirmation of my loans which had I not received that confirmation a
day before I had to submit my application would have resulted in a rejection of
my visa and the UK Border Agency pocketing my £310 application fee. It is also
somewhat responsible for the housing debacle I arranged for myself. I waited
until November to get in touch with an estate agent connected to the
university. Though they assured me there was a flat available at the location I
wanted, two weeks of hearing nothing from them sent me into fits of anxiety.
When they did return my emails the flat had disappeared but they assured me
they were working on it. In the meantime I applied for university housing. The
next day I had an offer of housing from the university and another flat at the
same location as the one which had fallen through. This initiated another bout
of anxiety as a grappled with which situation to take. I finally opted for the
flat and electronically signed the letting agreement and paying for the first
five months of rent.
So I have a visa, I have my loans, I have a
place to live. I step on a plane in two days and I haven’t yet packed. I think
that brings us all up to date for the moment. It is likely my next post will be
from jolly, old England. I imagine typing it, while sitting in my new flat and
sipping a cuppa. As much as I have felt unconvinced about this latest
adventure, I do feel a glimmer of excitement beginning in the pit of an
otherwise anxiety filled stomach. Nothing is written in stone and I have
learned that life often sends us to places to do things we least expect. I
honestly have no idea what I’m in store for, whether it is the right thing I am
doing, who I will meet along the way, and what I will see. I think I’m just
going to take everything as it comes without any expectation. Seems to be the
best way to go about things.
Happy 2015, dear Reader. I do hope you
enjoy the ride.
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